alt.obituaries Memorial Deadpool
est. 2005
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Ariel Sharon

If you thought Tony Blair or George W. Bush was controversial, you never met Ariel Sharon. War hero and alleged war criminal, handsome soldier and bloated politician, peacemaker and warmonger, everything he did annoyed someone new.  But he didn’t deserve his end: eight years of vegetative state, futile surgery, and horrible indignity.  He slipped the leash on January 11, 2014, and Another Lurker, Charlene, Chipmunk Roasting, Dannyb, Dead People Server Curator, DGH, Direcorbie, Drunkasaskunk, Eternity Tours, Grin Reaper, Hulka, Jefferson Survives, Jim Thornton, Joan Harvey, Loki, Mark, Mo, Moldy Oldies, Monarc, Ray Arthur, The Wiz, Tim J., and Worm Farmer each got 5 points.

Young Ariel Sharon was a raging firebrand
Stoutly defending his beleaguered homeland
A hero of the Six Day War
And the one on Yom Kippur
But later came the refugee massacre
Among the tents of Shatila and Sabra.
When into the camps he allowed 
A murdering Phalangist crowd
Since he was Minister for Defence,
The lawyers said he should have sensed,
That it would end in the blackest day 
When Arafat’s lot got sent away.
But as Prime Minister he got a firmer grip
Took his army out of the Gaza strip.
Although some thought that he messed around 
With the West Bank settlers’ facts on the ground.
So did he deserve such a horrible death?
Eight long years till he took his last breath.
The doctors carrying on regardless.
That’s what you get for being largest.
Bigger than a blooming ox 
They couldn’t get him in the box
Instead they kept him ‘live and slimmin’
Until he fitted in the coffin.
--Jim Thornton

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